That’s what she said

In the past, Thursdays have been known as the day where the Entertainment section runs its sex inches advice column.

We have received a lot of feedback from readers about what they would like to see in an advice column, and with that, all we could think of was "That's what she said!"
 

Jesus Martinez, the section editor, and I have brainstormed for a long time about how we could evolve the column and the general consensus was to have different gender perspectives on love and sex issues.

Every week, we will be alternating between issues and how the male or female perspective on that issue differs. This week, I've noticed the sudden influx of couples on the rise with their displays of public affection.

The singles and the takens

Let's just be honest – nothing instigates an annoyed eye-roll more than the love-struck couple in front of you at the library, in class, at the lunch table or on the steps of any given building. If you look around, they're everywhere. Well, at least that's how it feels when you're single.

We watch on as the love-struck girl sits endearingly atop her equally besotted boyfriend's lap. We try to drown out the couples' giggles and whispered sweet nothings and then something happens. It's so quick that if you blink at the wrong time, you'll miss it.

But if you're unlucky enough, you'll look up just as she sweeps the room with her eyes, taking in the image of the other poor, single souls. Sometimes her eyes meet you with pity and other times she's grips her boyfriend's hand just a little tighter, like she's won a contest that all women know about, but don't really talk about. She has a boyfriend and you don't.

Now, this is where the essential split between women comes into play. I tire of sports analogies, but it works in this case. There are two teams in a woman's world – the singles and the takens. And both teams feel quite strongly that they have more points than the other. The singles look at the takens, with their promise rings and star-crossed eyes, and pity the girl's loss of freedom.

The takens strut about, boyfriend in tow, and smile to themselves because they have achieved an apparent level of success that is a relationship. And in the same instant, the takens subconsciously envy the flirty girl surrounded by a hopeful group of guys,

remembering a time when she could have had her pick of any of them. The singles may think they are the liberated, chainless ones, but we can't really be annoyed with couples if there wasn't a part of us that actually envied their companionship.

Between women of these opposite teams, there is this constant exchange of feelings of jealousy, pity, envy, achievement, covetousness and superiority. Most of us have been on both the singles team and the takens team and yet allegiances switch so quickly that we conveniently forget what it was like when we did or did not have a relationship.

Having been on both sides of the fence, we should have a more genuine understanding of fellow women around us. There really shouldn't be these unspoken resentments because we've worn both team jerseys.

I'm not asking for women to unite around the globe under the harmony umbrella. I'm just saying we should be a little more understanding and a little less assumptive.

We shouldn't give the I-told-you-so look to our weeping friends when the relationship doesn't work out and we also shouldn't think every single girl out there has our man within her crosshairs. What we should do is hang up those team jerseys in the back of the closet.

Vanessa Juarez may be reached at prospector@utep.edu.